The delightful Railway Hotel sits on one of two Albert Streets in Melbourne (the one furthest away from where you are staying). As it's name suggests it is conveniently placed for access to rail transport which leaves every 15 minutes, even in the middle of the night!
Access to medical facilities is obviously easy, as is indicated by the first guest you meet - a biker sporting a neck-brace and fashionable sunglasses (not just for hiding bruises)
After passing through the spacious kitchen/lounge well-stocked with your favourite magazine titles (including personal favourite The Hep C Review) you come to the hotel's smoking balcony which can only be described as "in a state of advanced decay". Brave a few moments on this stationary rollercoaster to take in the sights...
Across the street is a Safeway supermarket where attractive female cashiers will be happy to poke fun at your inadequate food purchases (see Traveller's Tips #2 for full list of basket contents), this jolity has the added effect of making you feel that your hat is not as rad as you previously thought, which may even lead to you not wearing it as much and getting heat stroke.
Who needs air conditioning even in Melbourne during one of it's hottest years? With the live bands playing at the appropriately-named "Noise Bar" situated on the ground floor you won't be sleeping much anyway!
Keep your eyes out for the locals - like Nina from the room next door, will she ever get her ex-boyfriend to leave her alone? Not until he gives her back her wallet!
Enjoy your stay, and in the words of dry cleaner and semi-permanent resident Val "never lose your keys!"
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This post is not only well good, it is also ok at the same time. Give us more tales, the boanisty corporation is monitoring your progress and we require more results. The spider was a good idea. Where did you come up with that?
ReplyDeleteAre you living in a flop house?
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about the shop girls, next time you're in the store I suggest you purchase a pot roast and plenty sausage.
See how 'dem beatches' like them apples.
I am sure that your hat is, as you say, 'rad', much more likely to be the frankly weak contents of your shopping basket that is exposing you to ridicule, not the 'rad' and functional headgear